LONLINESS

Such a weird person have I become.
It’s like permanent negativity has been instilled in my core.
Can see the smile of no-one.
It’s like I want the worst for everyone, I’m sure.

On social media when I see someone happy, tagging friends,
The only word coming out of my mouth is “die”.
Want to see every smile meet its end.
The only emotion left would be sadness with a tear in every eye.

I wont still be satisfied I know that very well.
Because, an emotional tear is nothing but an ache in the heart.
I’d love it though when they all rot in hell.
Because, thats when every single soul will in reality be torn apart.

I hate it when friends hangout like they actually care for each other.
When all they speak and act are mere lies.
Resent the days I used to call them brothers.
When I think about it, the relation was never meant to die.

But it came to an end not with just them but everyone I once knew.
Now, despite of having the fake faces still with me I see it crystal clear.
The very reason my mind is totally screwed.
They all pretended to be with me but were honestly never there.

The reason of my mood is lonliness I think.
As I feel as if I have no one to turn to.
It feels like I lost the whole ocean of positivity with in a blink.
As all I face is failure whenever I find something which I try to do.

I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

I hate it when you sit with others and your smile gets out of it’s covers. When I am far away, and can’t stay with you. I can’t even say, that I’m okay, because I’m not. I’m a human not a bot, or a crop to be cut off or get mopped like some dust, I do burst into tears and don’t feel cheered as I have fears for the upcoming years, that my future with you is dark as whatever I do won’t bring the spark, as slowly my words to you will nothing be but a dog’s bark. 

This makes me sad, I feel bad as I feel I’ve lost all I had when I stabbed you in the back and then got mad when you reacted because you were effected by the way I acted. As I promised I’ll be there, when you needed me I was nowhere Though I promised to care but all I did was mere fun with you which now tears me. I give myself a glare with a feel of despair as you say that it’s fine “You still are mine. I still find you kind and we’ll stay together till the end of time.”

But I find it hard to believe as I’ve always hurt you. Forced you to come to a point where you won’t believe that what I do or what I say is true. Apologies from the bottom of my heart for all the things which I did to you. But, know that I’ve always loved you and a promise from me to you that I’ll keep on loving you. FOREVER AND EVER.

My love for you shall never end. BAKA.

-Malik Khubaib

THE APPLE OF MY EYE.

If I am to put her in a single line. I’ll quote, “All I want in this world and the next”.
Seeing her smile makes me feel so good that it is hard to express the feeling through words as, when I begin explaining it, everything that comes out of my mouth are meaningless words as I get Stuck in her aura but, it’s not just me. I know that even she gets confused and shy when I compliment her which is even more enjoyable, seeing her react with her eyes down trying to change the topic all of a sudden but failing to do so. I can’t stop giving a smile with tears in my eyes that I have such a beautiful and lovely person as a BEST-FRIEND. That’s how we are.

Talking about tears, I cry a lot for her well being, for her prosperity, for her love to never end for me, for her to always stay by my side. I cry and not just pray but Plead to GOD that I see her as the happiest person alive, I see her on the highest ranks in The Mighty creator’s eyes, I see her flourishing in this world and hereafter, that she gets each and everything she desires and if GOD appoints someone to help her achieve all that, May that person be me.

To tell the truth when I look back in the past, I have never loved anyone as much as I love her and certain moments which I spent with her are the most cherish-able moments of my life yet. Not even once, anyone could ever do close to what she has done for me so many times. From gifts to providing care, she has proven her relation of friendship with me through strong actions and not mere words like most people do and I wont lie this group includes me too. This is what I cannot ever forget and if I do I’ll be the most ungrateful person in this universe I believe.

I did like her a lot since the beginning and with that I did think that she’ll take me for-granted as that’s what I’ve experienced all my life but, she is different. She, knowing that I fell Head over heels for her still made efforts and showed me that she respects and loves me just as much as I do if not more.

She is the one I look up to.
She is the one who I want by my side till death.
She is the best person I’ve met.
She is the one who is the reason of my smile.
She is the one who I know is healthy for me.
She is the one who I need.
She is my best-friend.
SHE IS THE APPLE OF MY EYE.

FOR HER AS ALL SAID IN THIS VIDEO IS JUST TRUE AND RELATABLE.

 

 

SOON I’LL BE GONE.

You despise me for who I am.
An Un-caring friend, consider my heart to be tan.

Thus you feel lonely even when you have me around.
Still, to keep me happy and in senses you stay in bound.

You wish you could have a friend circle of your own.
Where everyone would be real and not merely a clone.

But I guess you can’t have that untill I’m with you.
But I see you’ll be left alone if we’re through.

But fine, I’ll leave you when I know you’ll not be alone.
When I feel you have someone to look up to, then I’ll be gone.

In your life, when there will finally be light.
Nothing bad will be left, no darkness of night.

When you’ll have nothing but all you can cheer.
When you won’t just cry, your delight would be sheer.

When your eyes would say, “Finally, I’m not alone.”
That’s when,in the light, like the star of the night I’ll be gone.

-Malik Khubaib

I HATE YOU BUT I LOVE YOU.

I hate you so much I can’t explain.
I hate you for you’re my pain.
The pain that I love to endure.
For you’re as well my hearts cure.

I hate you as you make me cry a lot.
For I cry when I mistakenly tear your expectations apart.
As you expect me to care and be there.
To take upon your anger on myself but I’m just nowhere.

I hate you but I love you.
Complicated it seems as you’d question the rhyme too.
How can one hate as well as love at the same time?
It’s when one forgets the difference in the two with one thing in mind

It doesn’t matter if you love me.
It doesn’t matter if you hate me.
Just know that we’ll be fine.
As long as you’re mine.

-Malik Khubaib

IF I DIE.

If I die.
Would you cry?
Or have a laugh?
And Thank God for the good bye!

If I die.
Would you defy?
The fact I was important.
Or you’d still self Lie.

If I die.
Would you tie?
A bouquet to my grave.
Or have a party of pie.

If I die.
Would you try?
To find the reason of my death.
Or praise my demise and forever enjoy?

I wait for the day I’ll die.
Sitting lonely on the sky.
Look at the reaction of the one’s I Loved,
Still watch over them like a protective brother’s eye.

-Malik Khubaib

IF YOU WERE HERE.

If you were here,
No pain would be hidden
No screams of despair
No tears unbidden.

If you were here,
I’d always have someone by my side
But I’m left here alone
No matter how much I’ve tried.

If you were here,
I’d have a name to call to
Every single day would be
So easy to get through.

If you were here,
There would be no gashes
No torment or suffering
No filthy ashes.

If you were here,
I’d have something to wake up to
A blessing in life
That I’d never think I knew.

If you were here,
You’d kiss the tears away
Instead I’m here
Wanting to die another day.

If you were here,
If only you were
Happiness or sadness
I’d forget to differ.

 

-ANON

I’LL LOSE ME.

I was proud of one thing; keeping my word.
By stating one simple thing, you took away my world.

My dignity, my confidence all went away.
I’m not trustworthy at all, bad for you to stay.

My all secrets lie with-in a person who I trust.
But sadly she is one blunt girl who loves to burst.

Whenever I put my point I’m forcefully proven wrong.
I realize your respect for me was long gone.

You’re forcing me to be what I am not.
“Just be your real self” was your statement, guess you forgot.

Now that I be real you can’t accept me.
“Too naive is your existence, you fake yourself to be happy.

Stop crying like a teenage girl, you better man up.
Sigh, I wish my friend was rather a grown up.”

Such accusation is what makes me think I should flee.
From any confronting conversation as I’ll soon loose me.

-Malik Khubaib

I WONDER.

I wonder how does it feel,
When between the bond you have some zeal,
When the friendship is life long,
When together you daily enjoy a meal.

I wonder how it is.
When you have someone to kiss.
When love doesn’t feel wrong.
When you know you’re being missed.

I wonder how it is to be the one.
When you’re the favorite son.
The best child in the family.
With you when everyone has lots of fun.

I wonder if I’ll ever have any of those.
A friend who’ll not keep me under his toes.
A lover who’d love me for my originality.
A family to love me truly and not just fakely pose.

-Malik Khubaib

BORING LIFE.

Everyday gets up, he follows the same routine.
Bored to death he gets expressionless.
Questions himself what does life mean?

Walking alone in the crowd he has to face the everyday drama.
Friends fighting emotionless,
He has to go through the same trauma.

Color-blind he feels with only grey memories in mind.
Seeing everyone in sadness,
He wishes to be rather blind.

Everyday he gets up,follows the same routine.
Insearch for happiness,
All the miseries he has seen.

-Malik Khubaib